


I Want To Sleep Next To You

by orphan_account



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Cancer, M/M, Sad, Suicide, Suicide mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 03:35:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7918957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mingyu doesn't know if he can follow Wonwoo's dying wish.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want To Sleep Next To You

Mingyu stood at the edge of a cliff. He looked down longingly. Imagine if he jumped. Imagine if he hit his head on those rocks. Imagine if he drowned. Imagine if he died. Bliss. Luxury. Mingyu’s dream.

He remembered the way Wonwoo’s voice shook as he called out that he was home. He remembered the speed he ran down the stairs with, taking Wonwoo in his arms and leading him to their living room.

“I have lung cancer,” Wonwoo had said. That was when Mingyu’s world crashed. He felt like his heart had just been ripped in half and his vision blurred in and out. He cuddled Wonwoo close as he told him the details. In the end, the couple ended up crying together. Wonwoo said he was sorry as Mingyu just sobbed.

“I don’t want you to go,” he whispered,

“And I don’t want to leave you, pumpkin,” Wonwoo sniffed, rubbing Mingyu’s back.

The man cried when his hair first started to fall out. He stared at the black tuft in his palm, letting his tears fall. It was the first clear sign that he was dying of cancer. Mingyu smiled sadly upon seeing the patch of skin, wrapping his arms around Wonwoo’s body. He began to wear caps and beanies a lot more when he lost more hair, and he spent a good fifteen minutes each morning drawing on eyebrows.

He lost weight and his body grew weaker. He was already extremely skinny before - now his figure was alarming and his rib cage stood out. It broke Mingyu’s heart. Wonwoo hated his body. He hated the fact that he became out of breath by just walking up the stairs. Sometimes Mingyu would carry him up. This gave Wonwoo mixed feelings - on one hand, it was beneficial for his breathing, but on the other hand it saddened him that he struggled and needed assistance on tasks that he never used to bat an eyelid at.

Wonwoo was eventually given an oxygen tank to help his lungs. He received extra pity from people, which he hated. He didn’t like people feeling sorry for him. Suddenly Mingyu was all that stopped him from wishing for his death to arrive sooner.

Inevitably, Wonwoo died. He knew it was coming soon and he had asked Mingyu to cuddle him. They were laying in each other’s arms on their bed when Wonwoo suddenly began to inform his boyfriend of his love.

“I love you too, Wonwoo. So, so much. Much more than you could ever imagine.” Mingyu kissed his forehead. “Do you think it’s time?” Wonwoo was quiet for a couple of seconds.

“Yeah. I think so.” Wonwoo felt his body shutting down. He felt his movements becoming slow and shaky as he wiped a tear from Mingyu’s cheek. “Remember when you said you’d die for me?” 

“Y-yeah?”

“Would you live for me?” Wonwoo asked, his voice soft. Mingyu sniffed.

“Yes,” He responded.

“You promise?” He took his boyfriend’s hand in his.

“I promise.”

“Thank you.” Wonwoo kissed Mingyu’s hand before kissing his forehead, nose, and lips. “I love you so much, Mingyu.”

And so Wonwoo died in Mingyu’s arms, lying in their bed. Mingyu cried and cried and cried. After a two year battle, the inevitable had finally arrived. His boyfriend was dead.

Mingyu only just managed to deliver his eulogy at Wonwoo’s funeral. He felt a deep, sharp pain within his chest throughout the event. He didn’t know how long he was sat at his gravestone after the ceremony in tears. He just wanted Wonwoo back - alive, happy, and healthy.

The mourning boy became selectively mute. He didn’t eat a lot and so he lost weight. He would often put his arm over to the other side of his bed, only to feel the absence of Wonwoo’s body. It hurt. He missed him much more than he ever expected to. The pain was almost unbearable. If he hadn’t promised to live for Wonwoo, he may have killed himself within the first six months.

But soon depression struck. He felt as though he just could not go on any longer. He wasn't living. He was existing. Mingyu couldn’t live for Wonwoo. He no longer had it in him. He needed a fire to burn inside his heart and behind his eyes, but Wonwoo had blown it out when he died and took the box of matches with him.

He faked a smile around friends and family. He insisted he was fine whenever his friends or parents checked up on him. He wasn’t fine in the slightest. Anyone could see that.

So Mingyu stood at the edge of a cliff. He looked down longingly. Imagine if he jumped. Imagine if he hit his head on those rocks. Imagine if he drowned. Imagine if he died. Bliss. Luxury. Mingyu’s dream.

Because ever since Wonwoo died, Mingyu was nothing.


End file.
